The First 40 Days: The Forgotten Tradition of Postpartum Care

The First 40 Days: The Forgotten Tradition of Postpartum Care

For centuries, cultures around the world have honoured the first 40 days after birth as a sacred window of healing, rest, and deep connection between a new mother and her baby. Often called The Golden Month, Confinement, or Lying-In, this tradition centres the mother’s well-being, ensuring she is nourished, supported, and sheltered from external pressures. Her only job? To recover, bond with her baby, and feel held by her community.

In New Zealand and other Western contexts, this nurturing tradition has largely faded. Instead, new mums are often expected to host guests, tidy up, reply to messages, cook meals, and in some cases, even return to work within weeks of giving birth. The loss of postpartum care as a community responsibility has left many families feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and burnt out at a time when rest and support are most critical.

A Tradition Rooted in Care

Postpartum rituals vary widely across cultures, yet they share common threads: warmth, nourishment, rest, and connection. In Chinese culture, zuò yuē zi (sitting the month) involves a mother resting indoors, avoiding cold foods, and being cared for by family. In Latin America, la cuarentena involves a 40-day rest period supported by loved ones. Indian traditions involve Ayurvedic massages, specialised foods, and female relatives offering round-the-clock help.

What unites these practices is the belief that caring for the mother is essential to her long-term health; physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When a mother is well cared for, she is better able to care for her baby. This is the essence of village care.

The Modern Disconnect

In modern society, the narrative has shifted. Instead of being supported, mums are often praised for how quickly they “bounce back.” The pressure to look like nothing has changed can leave mothers exhausted, anxious, and unwell. Many report feeling invisible once the baby arrives, as if their own needs no longer matter.

But science tells a different story. The postpartum period is a time of significant physiological change. Hormones are in flux, sleep deprivation is common, and the body is healing from the enormous task of childbirth. Mental health challenges, like postnatal depression and anxiety, often surface during this time. The need for care is not a luxury. It is a medical, emotional, and social imperative.

Reclaiming the Village Model

The first 40 days matter. It’s time we reclaim them. While we may not all have access to a multi-generational household or traditional practices, we can draw inspiration from these cultural legacies to create modern postpartum support systems.

Here are a few ways we can bring this tradition back to life:

Set Boundaries Early

Encourage expecting families to plan for a quiet postpartum. Let loved ones know in advance that the new parents will be resting and bonding, and visits will be limited in the early weeks. This is not being selfish. It is being wise.

Ask For and Offer Help

Many people want to help but don’t know how. Be specific: organise a meal train, request help with laundry, or ask a friend to do the school run. Likewise, if you’re part of someone else’s village, show up with care, a hot meal, a listening ear, or a load of washing done.

Nourishment First

Traditional postpartum diets focus on warm, healing foods. Slow-cooked stews, soups, broths, and herbal teas can help restore energy. Preparing freezer meals before birth or gifting nourishing food after the baby arrives can make a big difference.

Rest as a Priority

Sleep is often fragmented in the early days, so rest should be protected. Limit visitors, turn off your phone, and let go of non-essential tasks. This is a season of recovery. Productivity can wait.

Build Community Ahead of Time

Connect with local mum groups, doulas, midwives, or online communities before birth. Knowing who you can lean on makes it easier to ask for help when you need it most.

Why This Matters and What the Research Says

Studies consistently highlight the importance of early postpartum care. A 2021 review in the Lancet emphasised that the postpartum period is one of the most neglected phases in a woman’s life, despite its profound impact on long-term physical and mental health. In New Zealand, the Growing Up in New Zealand study found that mothers with stronger support networks in the early weeks after birth reported lower levels of depression and higher confidence in parenting.

In many cases, the first 40 days can influence breastfeeding success, maternal-infant bonding, and the onset or prevention of mental health challenges. Research from the World Health Organization shows that women who receive consistent emotional and practical support during this time experience fewer complications, recover faster, and feel more empowered in their parenting journey.

These findings aren’t just academic, they reflect what many mothers already feel deep down. That care matters. That being seen, supported, and valued in those early weeks can shape the trajectory of motherhood in powerful ways.

Reimagining the Fourth Trimester

In Aotearoa, where many whānau are dispersed and new parents may not have close family nearby, it’s time to reimagine what the “village” can look like. Support might come from neighbours, online groups, postnatal doulas, or local support services. It may be informal, a friend dropping off soup, or more structured, like attending a mum-and-baby support circle.

This is where community initiatives, like The Village NZ Parenting Hub, can play a transformative role. These digital and in-person spaces allow new parents to share, listen, and learn from others navigating the same season. Peer support is powerful. It helps normalise struggle, celebrate small wins, and offer reassurance that you’re not alone.

Healthcare professionals also play a vital role. Midwives, GPs, and nurses can guide families on what to expect, provide screenings for mental health, and connect parents with additional resources. Advocacy for more consistent and universal postpartum care remains an important part of building systems that honour this phase of life.

The Role of Partners and Allies

Postpartum care isn’t only a mother’s issue; it’s a whānau and community issue. Partners, friends, and family members can make a huge difference by being present, proactive, and informed. Simple actions like learning about the signs of postnatal depression, taking over night feeds when possible, or simply asking “how are you really doing?” can go a long way.

It’s also important to include fathers and partners in postpartum conversations. Their transition into parenthood is real too, and support for both parents builds a stronger foundation for the baby’s development and the relationship as a whole.

By inviting everyone into this conversation, we remove shame, build empathy, and remind each other that care is a shared responsibility.

Looking Ahead: Keeping the Spirit of the First 40 Days Alive

While the traditional 40-day window offers a powerful blueprint for postpartum recovery, the spirit of this care can extend well beyond the initial weeks. The early months of parenting are filled with transitions; from feeding and sleep to identity and partnership.

Keeping this ethos alive means continuing to ask for help, leaning into community, and giving yourself permission to rest. It also means advocating for better systems, sharing your story, and modelling care for future generations.

Even if you didn’t receive the support you needed in your own fourth trimester, your experience matters. By speaking up, supporting others, or creating space for a new parent to feel seen, you are part of the change.

Care is contagious. The more we practise it, the more we rebuild the village.

Research shows that strong postpartum support leads to better mental health, stronger parent-infant bonding, and increased breastfeeding success. It also lays the foundation for long-term maternal wellbeing.

More importantly, honouring the first 40 days sends a powerful message to new mums: you matter. Your health matters. You are not just a vessel for new life. You are a whole person deserving of care, rest, and support.

By wrapping around new mothers with kindness, nourishment, and presence, we remind each other that parenting was never meant to be done alone. It takes a village, and it begins here, in the days, weeks, and months after birth.

Join the Conversation

How did you experience the first 40 days? What helped you feel supported, or what do you wish had been different? Share your story and help us rebuild the village, one mother at a time.